My Life Today.......Monday 6/28/2010

My life today........

Right now I am...thinking how amazed I am that my precious little Anibella Buggie is 8 months old.......yes, she is already EIGHT months old today! I am so in love with my sweet baby!  When she woke up this morning she was calling for me with her cute little voice, "Mama.......Mama.......Mama"!  Oh my goodness, she is just irresistible!

Outside my window... okay, this one's gonna get boring real fast!  We live in FLORIDA.......in the SUMMER!  So, yeah, this is pretty much always gonna say HOT for the next few months plus maybe I'll occasionally throw in a "it's raining" every now & then!   : )  Although I'm not complaining at all!  I'm a beach/summer girl at heart!  I LOVE warm weather, flip-flops, seeing my girlies in sundresses & the smell of sunscreen!


I am hoping...one day I'll be able to be the kind of wife & mommy I hope to be!

I am thankful...that I have a hard working Hubby who gets as many overtime hours as possible so he doesn't have to get a 2nd job!  

I am smelling...my baby girls' soft, curly, yummy-smelling hair!  I love how it smells like Johnson & Johnson's baby shampoo!   : )

I just...reheated my coffee for the 2nd time!  I love my coffee warm/hot-ish but I also like to sip it slowly!  My Hubby says that's one of my little quirks!  He says he loves how I cup my coffee mug in both hands & sip it as I peek over the top!  He teases me cause it takes me twice as long to drink it than him, or anyone else for that matter!  I guess drinking coffee is kind of a "romantic", relaxing treat to me!

From the kitchen...lazy lasagna for dinner tonight!  I love to simmer my semi-homemade pasta sauce for hours to really infuse the fresh garlic into it!  YUMMY! 

I am wearing...a green & white tie-dye tank top & shorts.

I am creating...a new daily schedule for my little girlies.  We're starting school in just a few weeks.  We took a wonderfully long break in October through December when our sweet Anibella was born AND another long break when we moved so we're gonna start earlier this year!  I want to test it out over the next few weeks to be sure it will flow nicely & give me time to tweak it if necessary.  


I am going...to set aside time during my baby & toddler's nap & my 3 big girls' rest time to watch a Photoshop tutorial.  I've had this amazing editing software for months & I've made a few half-hearted attempts to learn how to use it but it's very complicated & I keep getting very frustrated with it!  So.......I'm hoping today's the day I conquer it!!!!!!!

I am STILL reading..."Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney.  I'm reading it slowly so that I can digest & really ponder what I'm learning!


I am thinking...how grateful I am to be a wife & mommy, not just in general though!  I'm so grateful to be my Randal's wife & my Amy, my Ashley, my Abby, my Ava & my Anibella's Mommy!  I seriously have the most awesome job/calling I could've ever dreamed of!  


I am hearing...my little toddler is wearing a tall hat we got at the "Barnum & Bailey Circus" years ago that we use for dress-up.  She's waving her little arms & walking around saying, "Layyyy-dies & Jeeeeen-KUL-meeeeen......."  (she's trying to say "gentlemen"!)  Hee hee!  I didn't even know that she knew what a ringmaster says & I especially didn't know that she could equate the tall circus hat with that phrase!  It's been months since she went to the circus!  She is so cute & always makes me laugh!


Around the house...girls, girls, little girls everywhere (hee hee!).......JUST the way I like it!  : ) 

Some of my favorite things...this sounds silly but, when I think it's hot INside our house (when it's really not but sometimes it feels like it when we're running around, doing chores or whatever!), I go do some laundry OUT in our garage for a few minutes.  Then when I come back inside, it feels gloriously cool again!  : ) 

Some of my plans for this week:

~ Baking & delivering cookies to our neighbors behind us that heard the raccoon attacking our puppy.  He tried to scare the raccoon off with an umbrella & yelling while hanging over the back fence while his wife quickly ran to our door to tell us!  If they hadn't cared to come tell us, Aidan surely would have died & we're so grateful for them! 
~ FREE SUMMER MOVIE!   : )
~ I'm gonna take my girls to play in the fountain!  It's hard to do anything outside that doesn't include water right now!
~ Practice new fun braids on my girls' hair!
~ Get serious about couponing again!
~ laundry.......again!  : ) 
~ lovin' my Hubby & 5 sweet girlies with all my heart!
  
 

The REAL reason I want things "just so"!

We've had a busy few weeks in our home with sick little girlies, a sick Mommy, an injured puppy, 2 broken-down vehicles, an amazing over-time workin' Hubby, overnight company, Father's Day & our Daddy's 36th birthday (both on the same day!)!  WHEW!  It's been busy & I feel like I haven't been doing anything well!  I also happen to have this annoying self-imposed deadline for posting things on my blog & if I don't meet my "deadline" I am not happy with myself!  A perfect example is that I took pictures & had thoughts on what I wanted to write for my Hubby's birthday & Father's Day but never did my posts.  The day I was going to set a few minutes aside to post, which was Saturday, the day before his birthday & Father's Day, I woke up with a migraine that just wouldn't stop!  Gratefully, God helped me & even though I felt pretty yucky, my girls & I shopped & got all the food, gifts & decorations I needed for  my sweet Hubby's birthday/Father's Day dinner party AND everything we needed for our overnight company for that same night as our party!  I went to bed having done everything I needed to do except for my special blogs!  I wasn't happy about it but figured I might be able to steal away for a bit to blog on Sunday.  I woke up still not feeling good.  We went to church, came home to eat a special but casual lunch to show our Daddy how much we love him then we took naps.  I cooked our special dinner, finished decorating & setting up our party table & our guests arrived just in time to eat.  Our guests were coming into town for an unrelated thing but they are old friends & we loved having them stay with us!  We sang to my Hubby & celebrated his birthday & Father's Day & we talked late into the night with our friends, long after all of our sweet littles were in bed!  We had a wonderful, fun, happy, special, sweet & amazing day celebrating my Hubby's 36th birthday & his 10th Father's Day!  I sleepily crawled into bed beside my Birthday Boy, once again, NOT having blogged about his special day!  My heart sank.  I was angry at myself.  WHY???????  If you ask my Hubby he could care less whether I blogged about his birthday or Father's Day!  But.......to me, HE is important to me & I love him with ALL my heart so, of course, I would want to record his special day on our blog!  Not for anyone else, but for our own posterity!  It's just for me & our family, right?!  Isn't that all that matters?  Wait a minute.......what is going on here!  Why am I so upset about this?  This is seriously ridiculous Mommy!  (which is what I call myself even in my own mind!  Ha!) I had some investigating to do!  This is one of those moments that I could have & usually do let pass by without a second thought but I laid there thinking.  Needless to say, there was some major sin going on here!   This is what I came up with or rather, what God showed me that night & the many times I've thought about it since.  (Okay, okay, so in reality I've thought about this MANY times before because I've always struggled with this sin!  But, it was all the more evident this time!)  The fruit, or what is seen on the outside is my inordinate desire (which in any given scenario can appear to be a need if you observe how it rules my thoughts, words & deeds!) to be in "control" of my situation AND, this is a major ugly one for me.......SELFISH AMBITION which always & forever follows closely behind my "control" issue!  How I appear to others is way way way too important to me!  NOT GOOD!  Sadly, I often hear this sin of "control" & the desire to appear "perfect" referred to in a more palatable or easy to justify way.  I often hear it referred to by others or even myself think about it as "liking things just so", "type A personality", "OCD tendencies" "anal retentive" & "over-achiever"!  In our "do it yourself", "pull yourself up by your boot straps" culture, it has subtly become funny, a perceived sign of intelligence & a desired personality trait!  The root, or what is really going on way down deep in my heart & WHY the fruit in my life looks the way it does, FOR ME is "self-sufficiency", "pride" & "lack of trusting God" (by showing that I want to trust myself more!)  Let's step back & look at this for a minute.  Let's evaluate this for what it really is!  Since when is SIN funny, a sign of intelligence or something any of us should desire!  We should be calling this what it really is!  Okay, I'm coming clean, I'm outting myself, the jig is up.......I am self-sufficient, I am proud (& not the sweet, good kind like my kid made the honor roll kind!) & I don't trust God!  Sad.......very sad.......but very true.  If I'm being honest with myself & searching my heart the way God searches my heart, like in Psalm 139:23 when it says,  "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!", then this is what I see!  I have such a need for God to change me & I have an even greater hope & joy knowing that God is able & willing to change my wretched heart!  

SO.......all week long I've been procrastinating about posting because I'm "annoyed" with myself & embarrassed about not posting about my Hubby's birthday & Father's Day on "time".  I am seriously kidding myself if I think any one actually cares whether or not I post on time or even at all!  Crazy, I know!  SO, from now on I'm gonna do what I can & do it WHEN I can & ask God to help me with all of this ugly sin in my heart when (I say when cause I know it's gonna happen!) things don't go as I have "planned"!  I belong to my Savior, I am HIS, (which means my greatest need has already been taken care of!) I have an amazingly wonderful Husband, 5 beautiful, precious little girls & all of the physical blessings we could need!  I don't need to be fretting about such silly things!

I'll "catch" up on my posts as I can & they probably won't be in order either but that's okay!  : ) 

My Life Today.......Monday 6/14/2010

My life today........

Right now I am...very sleepy from being up several times during the night to check on our little 18 month old Papillon puppy named Aidan.  Our sweet little puppy got attacked by a huge raccoon yesterday in broad daylight in our own backyard!  He almost died & had to get staples in his haunches on both sides!  The coon got him in his face too!  Aidan is on home quarantine for the next few months since they suspect that the raccoon probably had rabies.  We are so grateful that our tough little 5 pound puppy survived!  We & especially our girlies absolutely adore their little Aidan!  Yesterday & last night was very traumatic for us & I am EXhausted! 

Outside my window... sunny, hot, humid, sweltering & did I mention HOT?!

I am hoping...that our little puppy doesn't get an infection & that he continues to get better! 

I am thankful...that I have sweet & compassionate little girls!  Right after Daddy rushed Aidan off to the animal ER, through heartbroken sobs, the 1st thing they thought of was making sweet little cards for their puppy! 

I am smelling...my "Breathless" perfume that my girlies found in my bathroom & have all asked to wear today!  So cute & they all smell sweetly delish!  : )

I just...put another load of laundry in the dryer.  You know, the usual!

From the kitchen...yummy oven baked potatoes that my sweet little Ashley Noellie (8 yo) scrubbed, poked & put in the oven to bake for dinner.......ALL BY HERSELF!  My sweet little Chef Girlie!  : )

I am wearing...a pink tank top &.......you guessed it.......striped jammie shorts!  Hee hee!

I am creating...a sneaky plan to surprise my AMAZING Hubby on his 36th Birthday which is June 20th & happens to fall on Father's Day this year!  Gosh, I am absolutely entranced by my man! 


I am going...to go on a romantic, fun, awesome & very missed DATE with my sweet, amazing & hott Hubby FOR THE 1ST TIME SINCE WE'VE BEEN IN FLORIDA.......a little over two months!  I'm so excited!  I can hardly wait to spend time with my man (& our sweet Anbella baby too!)!

I am STILL reading..."Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney.  See my looooooong post about "What I'm learning......." in the next post down.


I am thinking...how really really grateful I am for my 5 precious little baby girlies! 


I am hearing...my girls practicing singing songs they "wrote" for their Daddy's birthday & Father's Day!  They are so cute & sweet!  : )


Around the house...we are having fun dying Easter eggs today!   YES.......I did say Easter eggs & yes, I do realize that it's June!  We left South Carolina to move our 5 children, 1 puppy, 2 vehicles, 1 Daddy, 1 Mommy & all of our earthly possessions here to Florida 2 days after Easter!  We had a very special Easter lunch & party for our girlies after church on Easter Sunday.  We did fun Easter baskets for all 5 of our girls & we let them each pick out their own egg coloring kits but the only thing we didn't do was color eggs!  It's a fun family tradition to color eggs in our house & it's a special memory for us all but I knew we would have to throw away or give away all of our girls' beautiful creations the day after we colored them because we certainly couldn't take them on a 10 hour trip!  So, we decided to wait until we got here!  My sweet girlies have been SO incredibly patient waiting for their Mama to make a day to do it!  Sooooooo, our long-awaited festivities will happen today!  YAY!  : )

Some of my favorite things...I love that my girls think I sing "sooooooo pretty Mommy!" I love to hear them say, "You have such a beautiful voice Mama!  Please sing to me!"  Ahhhhh, that totally melts my heart!  (The reason this is so precious is that I don't have a beautiful singing voice but my sweet babies think so!)  : )

Some of my plans for this week:

~ A fun, romantic & long-awaited DATE with my amazing Hubby!
~ Surprise family party for my awesome Hubby's 36th birthday & Father's Day which are both on the same day, June 20th!
~ our 2nd week of naptime potty training was put on hold AGAIN since our sweet toddler has had a cold so we're gonna work on it again this week!  
~ PRAYING that our precious little girlies get over this cold!!!!!!!  : (
~ lots of lovin' on our sad, injured puppy!
~ laundry.......again!  : ) 
~ playing outside, running, burning energy, having adventures & letting my kids be kids!
~ *STILL* reading my book ~ "Feminine Appeal"
  
 

What I'm learning.......

I'm reading this book, "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney & it is excellent!  The chapter I read this week is called "The Blessings of Loving My Children".  I want to share one of the things that has impacted me the most in this chapter.  It has to do with not "indulging" our children.   

First I have to say that I know Carolyn & her daughters.  Carolyn & her girls definitely live what they teach in their books & on their GirlTalk Blog.  Carolyn excels in the area of being a wife & a mother.  I'm sure she has areas she is working on also but I am encouraged & inspired to seek God more & to learn to be a better wife & mommy as I learn from her!

The issue I was convicted by & spurred on to want to grow in is what Carolyn calls not "indulging" my children.  Here are two quotes that I love in regard to this issue & I'll tell you why in just a minute.  First, Carolyn says, "We must not allow our warm affection to degenerate into indulgence.  To indulge our children means to allow them to use, do, or have what they want to the detriment of their character.”  WOW........um, totally convicting!  It is absolutely a good thing, a gift even, to have "warm affection" for our children.  BUT.......for sappy mom's like me, it's very easy to let that desire to see our children be happy quickly "degenerate" into indulgence & herein lies the huge temptation for me!  Sometimes I don't even realize it & I have to stop & think.  I have to ask myself the tough questions, "Am I giving in to my childrens' requests simply because I want them to be happy?"  I don't struggle as much with the "giving in to avoid conflict" issue, it's usually that I want my girls to "have a happy childhood".  Yep, I've heard myself say or think that quite a few times!  This can be a wonderful thing but if taken to extremes it can become an idol, an all-consuming sinful desire AND it can lead to very UNhappy fruit in our childrens' hearts & lives!

Then Carolyn said, "In our effort to enjoy our children, we must never become tolerant of sinful behavior or lenient toward worldly compromise."  Yep.......thought provoking to say the least!  There are many many issues that come to mind when I think about this but I will talk about music.  I LOVE music.  I love music that sounds good, is fun to sing along to & gets me up & dancing!  My little girls love music.  They love music about as much or maybe even MORE so than their Mama!  They love to sing, they love to dance & they pretty much sing all day long.  There are lots of young, current, female musicians that would be "fun" for my girls to listen to & even me too!   My girlies & I have had lots of opportunities to talk about music & why we do or don't listen to certain kinds on our way home from stores that play it over the speakers.  It's fun, of course we would like it & enjoy singing along!  I know my girls would love to listen to the current music that's out there but would it feed their little souls?  Would it point them to the Savior?  I don't think that EVERYthing we do or hear HAS to be directly about God but, will it draw their little hearts to passionate affection for God or away from it?  As we all know, if our hearts aren't worshiping God, they will be worshiping something!  As their Mommy, it's my job, which I prefer to call my awesome privilege, to mold & lead their little hearts.  This includes things that may seem insignificant, like what kind of music they listen to.  It would be easy for me to let my girls listen to it, it would even be fun.  But.......would it be worldly compromise?  If I know it's not the best thing for my little girls, if I know their little hearts are naturally drawn to the Taylor Swift's (not that there is anything wrong with her personally) of this world, then I should be on my guard & make it easier for them to not get caught up into those things. 

Not indulging my children has always been an area of temptation for me.  I don't blame any of my sin on anything but my own wretched heart!  BUT........if I'm being completely honest, there are things about my life that I want to make different and/or better for my own children!  This can definitely be a good thing but again, I have to guard against making those things too important!  I grew up with an amazingly wonderful single Mom.  She & my Dad divorced when I was only 9 months old.  My Mom worked incredibly hard for my sister & I!  She usually had two jobs which meant she had to be away from us a lot more than she wanted to be.  From the time I was 9 months old on up, we were out the door by 6 am to get to daycare & got picked up from daycare after my Mom left work only to be left again with a sitter for her to begin her 2nd job.  Over the years, my Sister & I became what I like to call the "original" latch key kids, before that was really a "thing"!  We got up in the mornings, ate our breakfast, walked to school starting as young as Kindergarten, came home in the afternoon, made ourselves a snack, did our chores, did our homework, helped or completely made dinner, watched TV either with our Mom or while she was working her 2nd job & then went to bed.  I love my Mom, I adored my Mom!  She was my very best friend growing up, but, she was absent.  Unintentionally absent.  She was working hard every single moment of every day to provide for her girls.  That meant we barely saw her.  I have the occasional beach vacation memory of time with my Mom but for the most part, my Sister & I were on our own.  We had to make our own fun & most times, I wasn't very good at that!  I want to give my girls the happy, carefree childhood that I didn't have.  Often times, this becomes an idol, it becomes more important to me than the things that I really should be focusing on like their character!  Sometimes I get so caught up in wanting to see my girls have happy lives that I have to remind myself that godly contentment, selfless serving & a quiet & gentle spirit are much more valuable to God & me too!

This last quote from Carolyn reminds me to think long-term & not just about what will make my girls happy right now.  She says, "What is the ultimate purpose of a phileo (a tender, affectionate & passionate) kind of love?  It is nothing less than the salvation of our children’s souls.  This is the chief end of mothering.  Our goal is not that our children be happy, fulfilled and successful.  Granted, we may desire these things for them.  But our highest objective should be that our children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ and reflect the gospel to the world around them.”  Another awesome quote about this is by
JC Ryle.  He said, “This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children.  In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, “How will this affect their souls?”

I adore my 5 sweet little girls.  If you know me, even just a little bit, you already know that I'm that sappy, ooey gooey, crazy in love with my children Mommy.  It probably annoys many but it's true & it's simple.  I LOVE my children!  I'm not embarrassed to say that I enjoy them, I love to be with them, I think about them when we're apart, I love to do special things with & for them.  It makes me ridiculously happy to set up a special surprise "candlelight midnight pancake picnic" on the living room floor or whisk them away from their beds long after bedtime to take them out for ice cream in their jammies or to have a "happy 1st day of summer" surprise party waiting for them first thing in the morning.  I don't say that to boast.  I know lots of other Mommy's do the same & even more than I do.  My heart is "naturally" inclined toward tenderly loving my children.  I say "naturally" in quotations because no good thing happens apart from God & His Holy Spirit!  It is all a gift, His mercy & His grace!  I recognize that & I am so very grateful for it!  I say this to show that I don't struggle with the "loving my children part", I struggle with the, "we must not allow our warm affection to degenerate into indulgence" part!  I would venture to say that it is probably MORE sinful to struggle with what I do than the opposite.  I want to love my children's souls too!  I want my "highest objective to be that my  children would repent from their sins, put their trust in Jesus Christ and reflect the gospel to the world around them"!  (paraphrased)  I'm grateful that I want my girls to have happy, blessed & fun lives but I earnestly desire to do what JC Ryle says, "In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, “How will this affect their souls?”!

This is so deep, so convicting & so real to where I am in my Mommy-ing right now!  Mothering my children, teaching them to love & serve & glorify God, all the while continuing to tenderly adore them will take all of  my attention & all of my heart cries to God for the rest of my life.  If I hope to do any of this right, I will need gobs of God's enabling & sustaining grace every.......single.......day!

My two littlest littles

Daddy took our 3 big girls to swim last Saturday & I stayed home with our 2 littlest girls, Ava & Anibella.  They had so much fun playing together the entire hour they were gone.  It was so sweet to see such gentle & loving interaction between 2 tiny little people.   It melted my heart as I watched & listened to them together.  They truly love each other & enjoy being together!  During their time together, Ava had to go potty & the scenario went like this.......

 

"Sissy, I have to go potty now but I be right back, K?"

  

"I gonna miss you baby, you stay right here......"

 

"I love you so much my Anibella Boo Boo Baby......."

"Now you kiss me FWEETIE!" (Supposed to be SWEETIE!)

  

"I back baby!  Did you miss me?"

The whole time Ava was in the bathroom she kept yelling to Anibella as loud as she could but in a sweet, kinda sing songy voice.  "I love you Anibella Boo Boo Baby, I miss you Fweetie, I coming right back honey!"  It was SO stinkin cute!  Anibella was so sweet & patient & just sat waiting for her big sissy to come back to play with her!  When Ava was done she ran up to hug her baby sissy & Anibella had the biggest "I MISSED you Sissy!" look on her face!  They were really so sweet together & it made my Mommy-heart so happy & grateful for my sweet girls! (Notice that Ava is wearing her bathing suit?  She really wanted to go swimming too but she had the beginning of this cough/cold thing that all my girls have right now so the 3 of us stayed home.  When she heard that her "big girlies" were going "sl-immin'" she brought me her "bavin' suit" so she could be like them too!  It only took her a moment to get over the disappointment when she realized that she could have her baby sissy all to herself!)    : ) 

From parched to refreshed......it doesn't take much for a very tired Mama!

 My girls are still sick.  This makes me very sad & I am getting tired.  Not just physically tired but the kind where all of you is tired.  Mentally, emotionally & spiritually too.  I know God is sovereign.  I know He is kind, loving, good, gracious, merciful & I know that He cares for me.  I also know that He loves my 5 little girls more than I ever could, which is hard to fathom, but it's true!  I so desperately want my little girls to feel better & be healthy.  They are all coughing, actually "hacking" would be more accurate.  They all have runny, snotty noses, sad, sleepy looking little eyes & they are all tired.  They try to act like they're not tired & don't feel crummy because they just wanna play & have some fun!  They're tired of being cooped up in the house even more than I am!  If you know me at all, I am naturally given (I say "given" because it is something that, more & more, I recognize that I am bringing upon myself!  God doesn't want this for me, I do it to myself!  His grace is there if I would just take hold of it!) to fearing for my childrens' safety & health.  I cry out to God for His grace & occasionally I find that I might have grown a little bit in this area, but I  usually struggle with & fail in this area of sin.  I pretty much always fret & am anxious when my sweet ones are sick.  I always fear & imagine the absolute worst.  I know this is so sinful & I get so discouraged with myself for it.  I know that God only gives me grace for what I am going through right now.  During a prolonged season of sickness of all kinds, including 5 miscarriages, in our family due to what we later found to be toxic levels of mold growing in our kitchen, I was once encouraged by one of my very best, most precious friends, Vivian Holland, to think about the quote by Carolyn Mahaney that says that God "is not sympathetic with my unbelief"!  HERE is that link.  Talk about knocking the wind out of my sails (in a very good & much needed way!) as I was sailing along on my vast & lonely sea of worry, anxiety & 3 am freak out sessions! I so needed my faithful, loving friend to tell me that & it was so true! 

Unfortunately, this time proved to be no different.  Although in talking with another sweet friend on the phone earlier that day, she said she heard a glimmer of growth in what I was saying & how I was saying it.  I was surprised & so very grateful!  God IS at work in me!  : )  Here I am once again, listening to my sick babies raspy breathing, congested coughing & bringing out the thermometer at midnight.  Not a good scenerio for this fearful Mama!  So, here I have a fresh opportunity to trust God.  I think I failed.......again. 

So, last night my little 2 year old was so congested that she was having a hard time sleeping.  She was very fitful & kept crying in her sleep.  About 2 am she cried out to me & as I ran to her bed she hung onto my neck for me to pick her up.  I brought her into the kitchen so as not to wake her sleeping sissies.  Through her sad, sweet but cranky I'm-only-2-&-I-feel-really-yucky tears she told me, "Mommyyyyyy, I can't breafffff in my beeeeeeedddddd!"  Oh my heart just sank.  My sweet baby!  So, I got her a drink, rubbed her chest down, helped her blow her nose & we went to sit in her room by the cool mist humidifier.  I sat there rocking my sweet little sickie.  To say I was already tired was an understatement but my heart just broke with compassion for my little girl.  Yep, I was tired & yep, I really really wanted to be sleeping in my comfy bed beside my best friend BUT at least I could breathe laying down, at least I wasn't hacking at all hours of the night, at least my nose didn't feel like it was gonna fall off.  Rocking my baby & stroking her soft, blonde hair was the least I could do.  So there we sat together.  I was loving our cuddle time.  Slowly but surely, one by one, each of my big girls woke up & peeked their little heads over their bunks to see what Ava & Mommy were doing.  One of my older girlies offered to let Ava & I listen to her i-pod.  (We're not into technology for our children at all but my Hubby & I both felt that giving our girls the ability to listen to music that teaches their little hearts about God was a great thing!  Our 3 oldest girls got their own i-pods for Christmas last year.  Daddy has very carefully & lovingly chosen music for them & they each have about 30 songs on their i-pod.  We use them for afternoon quiet times, long car rides (for a limited & pre-set amount of time!) & special treat times.)  At first, I put one earbud in Ava's ear & one in mine.  As Ava was listening to the music, I was holding her & scratching her back (a new favorite of Ava's!  "Mommy (or Daddy or sissies!), please scratch me?!"  SO cute!) & within minutes she was fast asleep!  She could breathe much better with me holding her up!  Yay!  My Mommy-heart was so happy!  After my sweet little Ava fell asleep, I was listening with both earbuds.  I was singing softly & still holding Ava.  One of my girls asked me to sing louder so they could hear me.  That made me smile & of course, I obliged.  I found myself worshipping.  At, by that time, 3 or so in the morning, I was worshipping God!  I could sense the joy welling up in my heart.  It was a sweet, comforting, refreshing time with my amazing God!  As if that wasn't enough, God gave me another gift last night too!  I could hear my girls all softly singing along to God!  My children, who I pray for earnestly every day to know & love the Savior like their Daddy & I do, were singing to the God of their little hearts!  That was such a sweet, precious sound that I'll cherish forever!  We sat singing for a long time.  I plopped in bed at 4:30 am with a very happy heart!  This morning I was tired physically but my heart & my soul were refreshed!  It doesn't take much, it was just a little moment, but my kind & loving God knew what I needed!  Below are the lyrics of 3 of the songs that I love the most from my little time with God & my girlies last night!  

Oh the Deep, Deep Love

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Original words by Samuel Trevor Francis (1834–1925), Music, chorus, and alternate words by Bob Kauflin.
 
Lyrics

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above

Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne

Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me

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Lyrics by Augustus Toplady.  Music and additional lyrics by Bob Kauflin.

Lyrics

Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee
Let the water and the blood
From Thy wounded side which flowed
Be of sin the double cure
Save from wrath and make me pure

All the labors of my hands
Could not meet Thy law’s demands
Could my zeal no respite know
Could my tears forever flow
All for sin could not atone
Thou must save, and Thou alone

Nothing in my hands I bring
Simply to Thy cross I cling
Naked come to Thee for dress
Helpless, look to Thee for grace
To Thy fountain, Lord, I fly
Wash me Savior or I die

While I draw this fleeting breath
When my eyes shall close in death
When I soar to worlds unknown
See Thee on Thy judgment throne
Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee

© 1998 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

The Precious Blood

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Words and music by Peter Gagnon. 

Lyrics

Before the cross I kneel and see
The measure of my sin
How You became a curse for me
Though You were innocent
The magnitude of Your great love
Was shown in full degree
When righteous blood, the crimson spill
Rained down from Calvary

Oh, the precious blood
That flowed from Mercy’s side
Washed away my sin
When Christ my Savior died
Oh, the precious blood
Of Christ the crucified
It speaks for me before Your throne
Where I stand justified

And who am I that I should know
This treasure of such worth
My Savior’s pure atoning blood
Shed for the wrath I’d earned
For sin has stained my every deed
My every word and thought
What wondrous love that makes me one
Your priceless blood has bought

A crown of thorns, pierced hands and feet
A body bruised, and Mercy’s plea

© 2005 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

My Big Girl!

Today was my sweet baby's last day wearing size ONE diapers!  She is finally over 14 pounds & she has moved up to her BIG GIRL size TWO's!!!!!!!  : )  My little Anibella is 7 1/2 months & she weighs 14 pounds 3 ounces.  She is petite but spunky, adventurous, full of curiosity & so incredibly sweet & lovable!  She does not let her tiny-ness keep her from doing all of her big girl stuff!  Anibella was only 1 day early which seemed late for us since all of our other girls were anywhere from one to two weeks early.  She weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces & she was 19 1/4 inches long.  God knew she needed to bake just a little bit longer & she is absolutely perfect!  Sometimes I worry when people comment on how tiny she is but I am happy to know that she is perfectly healthy (PRAISE GOD!!!!!!) & has even hit most of her baby milestones early.  (Not that it really matters but it is comforting that she is physically able even being so little!)  She started rolling back to tummy AND tummy to back in the same week, the week she turned 4 months old.  She started sitting up & said her first word, "Mama" (which TOTALLY melts my heart!) at 5 months.  She said her second word, "Dada" (which equally melts both Randal & I's hearts!) & started pulling up to stand the first week she turned 7 months.  My Anibella Hope is just a very sweet, content, social & happy baby!  So, our girls & I made a big "to do" about Anibella "graduating" from her size 1's to her size 2's today!  Her size 1's still actually fit her but the tabs don't come together quite as much as they used to.  Her size 2's are much more roomy & comfy!  I LOVE for my babies to look & be comfy ~ it makes me ridiculously happy!  : )  My sweet Anibella baby is growing up!  She is doing new things every day!  She is such a joy to her Daddy, her 4 big sissies & I!