Sick little ones & God's grace!

On Sunday night my little Ava was having trouble sleeping & kept waking up crying. This is very unusual for her because she is an awesome, champion sleeper & she has never been a wake-up-crying-in-the-middle-of-the-night-baby! Well, she was that night! I kept going in to check on her, comfort her, give her her passy, tell her I loved her but I just assumed she had been startled out of her sleep.......for the first 4 or 5 times. Then I felt her little forehead &, yep, she was warm! My heart sank. I picked her up, cuddled her for a minute & I realized that she was warmer than just a little warm. I kept encouraging myself, she's just teething, it's a little warm in her room, maybe she was just covered up too much....you know, talking myself out of fearing that she was getting sick! If you don't know me well, I get very anxious & fearful when my children get sick. I really wanna be that Mommy who can just calmly, fearlessly deal with my sick child & not let my very sinful & very emotional imagination run away with me! But, oh man, does it RUN! Once again, I try with all MY might (uh, I think the problem lies therein, don't you!?) to focus on God, trust in His sovereignty & all the stuff I know I'm supposed to "do, think & feel"! In my exhausted state all I can muster is "Jesus, please protect my baby, God please don't let my baby be sick".......etc & so on & so forth! I know this all sounds terribly silly but when it's 3 am & I'm very tired it all seems very real, at least for me it does. So, down we hunker in Ava's rocking chair, blanky or "bucky" as she lovingly calls it, passy for Ava, blanket for Mommy, footstool for Mommy & lots of praying or at least trying in my half awake state. I could tell my sweet little Ava really didn't feel good, she was rubbing her teary eyes, pulling at her little ears, nose running all over the place & hot as can be. She was laying on my chest finally falling asleep. While we were rocking I coughed. Just a normal, regular, dry, I have crazy allergies kind of cough & I hear the sweetest, most adorable little voice say, "Mommy? K?" which is how Ava asks if someone is "okay" anytime they sneeze, cough, say "ow" or anything! In that moment, my fearful, tired heart melted. It was unbelievable but I started to cry. I couldn't believe that although my little baby was sick & feeling terrible, she was concerned about her Mommy's little cough. It was precious. In that very moment God did something amazing in my heart. In just an instant all the amazing things God has done in my life starting flooding my mind. I started thinking about & praising God for all of the blessings He has poured out for me. Here I am, this sinful, wretched person, yet, my amazing, loving, gracious God has chosen to love me, to save me through His beautiful Son, Jesus, my Savior! All of my fear, anxiety, doubt & worry just melted away. God gave me His peace, His peace that defies understanding. My sweet baby was still feeling pretty yucky & I was so sad for her but trusting in God that it was gonna be okay. That was totally NOT my doing, it was God, a work of His amazing grace grabbing a hold of my sinful heart & setting my gaze straight upon Him, again.......where it should always be in the first place. I continued to rock my little Ava & eventually slept on a cot beside her crib because she would wake up sad & crying every 30 minutes. I could comfort her by talking to her, sticking my arm through her crib slats & holding her hand & we finally slept! Although I really WAS exhausted, I knew God's peace & fell asleep thinking about all the amazing & awesome blessings He has given me! I wish I could remember to remember these things all the time! : ) I'm starting to wonder if God brings me to the end of "me" like when I'm half sleep deprived at 3 am to speak to my heart because then I have no strength of my "own" to try to work it out! : ) I love God, I love that Jesus saved me, I love my amazing Husband, I love our 4 precious little girls, I love our new sweet little baby, I love our extended family, I love our church & our care group, I love our many awesome friends & I love that God provides for our every need, being spiritual, physical, financial & every other way! I love that God loves me enough to show me my need for Him & that He continues to surprise me every day with His grace! Just wanted to share what God is doing in my often tired, sinful & needy (of God's grace!) Mommy heart! : )

Our sweet little Baby!

I had my first ultrasound today! I got to see & hear our sweet little baby's beautiful, strong, amazing little heart beating! It was so precious! I am 13 weeks 4 days & our baby is 7 centimeters long, which is almost 3 inches long & weighs about 2 ounces. This is a very wiggly little baby & the ultrasound tech even commented on how active she/he is! Our baby was moving it's arms & legs, turning all around & opening & closing it's little mouth! My heart absolutely melted! We are thanking God that our new little baby is healthy & strong! When I got home & showed our girls the pictures of "their baby" as they love to call it, they were SO excited! It is very sweet to see how happy they are about our new little baby! Actually they were a little sad that there is *ONLY* ONE baby! They were hoping & praying for twins or triplets! Um.......I have to admit that Daddy was a smidge relieved to hear that our ONE baby is healthy & doing awesome! : )

My Girls' Haircuts for Locks of Love

My girlies had their hair cut this week to donate to Locks of Love. If you've never heard of it, Locks of Love is an organization that receives hair donations & makes wigs for children who have lost their hair due to illnesses like cancer. My girls all know that my Mom, their Grandma Rose, died of cancer & lived her last few years with no hair, which makes them very sad. About 3 years ago my girls heard about Locks of Love & in the same week we saw a little girl about 4 years old in Target who had no hair. They were surprisingly affected by this sweet little girl & wanted me to tell them all about her. All I knew to say was that she was very sick & that we should pray that God would protect & heal her. Their compassionate little hearts were so sad for her & they asked if they could cut their hair & give it to HER......"right now!" : ) ! I said that we couldn't do that but that we could send their hair to Locks of Love. They have always had long hair & I was surprised that they wanted it cut. Last week they asked if they could do it again! I am so happy & grateful to see what God is doing in their sweet little hearts! Our very special & amazing friend, Vivian, cut their hair for us & she did an awesome job! THANK YOU my Vivi ~ We LOVE you! : ) It was so much fun & even more sweet because our adored Auntie Raigan is here visiting & was with us when they got their hair cut! I love my sweet little girlies so much! : )

Our new puppy Aiden.......kind of.......???????

As you know, we had planned to surprise our girls & bring home our new puppy, Aiden, on Easter morning. So Randal/Daddy got up early, drove over the breeder's house to get him, who also happens to be our really good friend, Pam. Her teenage son (sleepily) met Randal at the door with a sweet little puppy in a carrier. Randal brought the puppy upstairs before all of our girls were awake & we put the puppy in an Easter basket with a blue bow & put a blue bow around the puppy's neck. We woke up our girls, brought them into our room where the puppy was waiting for them in the basket & we took some really sweet pictures of their sleepy but VERY excited reaction to seeing their Easter present, their new puppy! We played with the puppy for about an hour & took lots of pictures of our girls playing with & cuddling their puppy. After getting the puppy settled back in the crate for the morning so we could get ready for church, we got a phone call......... it was our friend, Pam, the breeder. She said, "um.......you have the WRONG PUPPY!" Her son had accidentally given Randal Aiden's sister, Paisley who we had been loving on, taking pictures of & playing with all morning!!!!!!! I heard Randal answer the phone & he said, "Hi Pam. What......we have the wrong puppy? Are you serious?" I ran out of our room & said, "What did you just say?" I thought he was totally kidding! Sooooooo, we don't have any pictures of Easter with our little Aiden but lots of his sister Paisley! We were shocked but Randal & I could see the humor in it. Our girls, on the other hand....... one of them burst into tears & said, "I want my Easter puppy!" through her sobbing! It was so sad but kind of funny at the same time! So, Pam brought Aiden over around 3 pm after lunch & our MANY egg hunts & we exchanged Paisley for our little guy! On the way to church our girls, including the one who had the meltdown, started laughing & said, "it's kind of funny & it's great that we actually get to play with TWO puppies today!" I love my sweet girlies.......emotional (sinful
; )!) but oh so lovable! : ) Our girls are totally in love with their new puppy! He is so sweet & very smart! Now that we have had Aiden for a few days my camera is doing strange things so I can't seem to get any good, non-blurry pictures! I'm working on figuring it out so hopefully we'll post some pictures of our girlies with their new puppy very soon! (I know, Susan, I know, but I really promise this time! : ) !) We had a wonderful, very sweet & memorable Easter as a family! Hope yours was great too!

Mommy & Ashley's Date!

I am so happy that I got to go on a date with my sweet little girlie Ashley yesterday! We went to Starbucks, got a frappucino & a snack, had fun talking & just being together, played some games & just had silly time together ~ it was so much fun! Then we went to Target & bought Ashley's new bathing suit. It looks really cute on her! She was so sweet ~ she was thinking of her sissies & she was concerned that they might feel left out. She said, "Mommy, I hope my sissies aren't sad! Can we get them new bathing suits too or should I wait until we are all together?" It made my heart so happy to hear Ashley thinking of her sisters & being so sweet & unselfish! I'm so grateful to God for what He is doing in her little heart! In Ashley's classic funny way, she lounged on the patio furniture at Target with Mommy's sunglasses on. She looked really cute & it was so funny! While we were talking & playing tic-tac-toe & hangman at Starbucks I looked across the table at my sweet & very mature acting little girl & I got very emotional thinking about what a big girl she is! My Ashy is already SEVEN!!!!!!! We had so much fun just being together! Although this has nothing to do with our date, when we got home we had tacos for dinner. Ashley's very loose tooth fell out WHILE she was eating her taco! She & her sisters were very distraught at the fact that she most likely swallowed it! That only lasted about a second before she got excited that it was finally out! : ) I love my little Ashley girlie so much & I am so grateful that we got to spend the afternoon together! : )