Update on Anibella's heart

 I want to share this picture because it so perfectly shows Anibella's sweet & sometimes shy little personality!  She does the cutest little thing with her tongue when she's being shy, trying to do something or just being silly!  She curves her tongue up & over!  I don't know how she does it but it's SO adorable!  I also love this picture because sometimes when we call her name she get's kinda shy & closes her eyes like this!  So, this is a two-fer, she's shyly closing her eyes AND doing her cute little tongue thing!  I SO love her!  

We took Anibella to another Pediatrician for a thorough explanation of the results of her Echocardiogram & to get her weight checked again.  Before I tell you all about it I have to say that WE ARE THANKING GOD FOR VERY GOOD NEWS & WE ARE SO SO SO VERY GRATEFUL! 

Okay, I'll tell you the technical/medical information first & then I'll share what's going on inside of MY heart!  

I will use self-control & not go into detail about the first Pediatrician.  All I will say is that she lacked compassion & her beside manner left much to be desired.  In my opinion, knowing how to talk with parents is pretty much essential in the field of Pediatrics.  Gratefully, the doctor we saw this time was much more kind, compassionate & left us with a good understanding of what is going on with our sweet baby girl!  He actually read us the Cardiologist's report & drew us a diagram so we could see what he was talking about.  He said that, according to the report, the Cardiologist couldn't even completely tell if what our Anibella has is truly an "Atrial Septal Defect" OR a "Foramen Ovale"!  He told us that every baby has a natural hole, called a foramen ovale, in their heart while in utero!  It is described as, "A normal cardiac structure found in all newborns and can be best described as a "door" between the right and left atria.The foramen ovale is essential for proper fetal circulation, directing oxygenated, nutrient-rich blood from the placenta, preferentially to the developing fetal brain. During fetal life, the "door" is open, and blood passes from the right to left atrium. However, with separation from the placenta and with the first few breaths, the left atrium fills with blood returning from the lungs and closes the "door."  During the first years of life, the foramen ovale seals shut and becomes a true wall that separates the right and left atria. However, in a significant proportion of people, the foramen ovale does not seal shut and remains a potential trapdoor between the 2 atria."  He told us that the foramen ovale closes in most babies the day of or the day after birth but that it is possible for it to take a while.  He told us that whether Anibella has an ASD or if it is just her natural foramen ovale that hasn't closed yet, they both can & most likely WILL close in time.  He listened with his stethoscope & he heard absolutely NO MURMUR at all!  My Hubby & I were so surprised, SO incredibly grateful & we are thanking God!  Our Ped said this could mean that the hole in Anibella's heart has already closed or is so very tiny that it's not making noise when her blood rushes through it any more!  He is going to watch Anibella really closely & she will have another Echo when she turns ONE (WOW ~ I can't believe my precious baby girls is already almost ONE!)  : )  which is at the end of October, in 1 & 1/2 months!  He said that having another Echo is really the only way to know for sure if her hole has closed.  So.......we will wait.  We will hope & earnestly pray & trust God & hope some more that God is healing/has healed our sweet Anibella's precious little heart! 

 This isn't about me (at ALL!) but God is using finding out about our sweet little Anibella's heart to show me a lot about my own heart!

I am so grateful that my Hubby was able to work overtime at the beginning of the week so he could be there with Anibella & I!  He is such a source of comfort to me & to our girls & he always always reminds me to trust God!  I loved watching him cuddle with our sweet baby girl in just her little diaper in the room while we waited.  She looked a little nervous & would rest her little head on his shoulder & touch his face to feel his prickly goatee as she looked around the room with her big blue eyes!  So precious!  After a while of cuddling with Daddy she reached for Mommy & melted right into me!  I'm pretty sure she could sense my apprehension even though I thought I was doing a pretty good job of faking that I wasn't worried!  Oh, my brain absolutely knows that my God is sovereign & good & kind & loves my sweet baby more than I ever could but.......sometimes I struggle to transfer that knowledge to a practical outworking in my heart.......to, you know, conVINCE my heart of what my brain knows to be true!  That's when I have to SPEAK God's truth TO my wayward, anxious, fearful & wretched heart instead of LISTENING TO my emotions that can & ARE easily swayed every which way!  Even though Anibella looked a little "concerned", overall she was still her sweet, curious & very happy little self!  I think it's amazing that God allows babies/children to be able to so completely trust their Daddy & Mommy & that she was able to rest on our shoulders as we waited!  How awesome would it be if I had such faith in MY Father!  (note to self.......probe heart about this & work on it!)  : )  As I was preparing for Anibella's appointment I was very fearful but trying to trust God!  I was asking God to help us with what our Ped said & praying earnestly for God to heal my sweet baby!  I am so grateful, beyond what I'm able to convey, that (it appears!) God is allowing our Anibella's heart to be healed!  Most days my heart is full of faith & trust in our amazing & wonderful God who is completely able & worthy to be trusted & loved & worshiped & praised!  On those days, I can pray for my sweet baby without fear & doubt & I'm so grateful for that!  I also have days when my heart is very anxious & fearful & not-so full of faith in my God who is STILL amazing & wonderful & fully able to be trusted, absolutely regardless of how I "feel"!  On those days I find myself wondering "What if this new Ped is just being too casual too.  What if there is really something scary/bad/dangerous going on with my sweet baby's heart that we need to take care of!  What if something happens to my sweet Anibella!?" & my sinful, fearful mind just keeps going from there!  I'm so grateful that God reminds me to "steady my gaze" upon Him!  I'm also grateful that my sweet & wonderful Hubby reminds me to trust God for He is absolutely worthy to be trusted in all things!  We are thanking God for His mercy & grace!  We are also hoping & praying that God is healing & taking care of our sweet baby girl like only our kind & good God can!

We were also there to get Anibella weighed.  She had gained 1 pound & 4 ounces & she had grown an inch in the month between her 9 & 10 month check ups!  Anibella now weighs 16 pounds & 8 ounces!  She is in the 5th percentile so, although she is still very small, she is growing & moving up on the little chart.  I don't depend on those charts but I do appreciate that they give us an idea of how our baby is growing in relation to just herself!  I know that my Anibella isn't going to be compared to a larger baby but it is a good way to gauge how my baby is growing on her own little curve!  Our Ped encouraged me to nurse her as much as she wants & to feed her as much as possible!  He said that he isn't "worried" about her weight but that he'll just watch her closely over the next few months.  He said that most babies around 9-10 months old usually gain about 1/2 a pound to a pound a month.  I think it's awesome that she gained 1 pound & 4 ounces in a month, especially considering how small she is!  YAY!  Gratefully, Anibella is an awesome eater & has a great little appetite!  She eats anything I offer her & she's so patient & enduring as her Mommy tries to put some little chunkies on her cute little self! She's also a champion nurser & still nurses about 4-6 times a day (which I love & I'm so happy that she still loves it too!)!  I lovelovelove my sweet baby girl so much!  We are so grateful & we're thanking God again for His kindness!

I just want to thank you all for praying for our sweet Anibella & for your love & care for us!  We are so grateful that God has allowed us to share this life together!  Love you all!