Talking to myself......

On Monday I was having that kind of day where I had to do a lot of talking to my heart! I was discouraged as a Mommy, a home school teacher & especially a "preparer & shaper" of my little girls' hearts! There are many days that I feel like a complete failure but that day I was having a harder time than normal "talking" to myself instead of "listening". Of the many areas that I'm working on in my life, the one that sobers me the most is training & raising my little girls to be godly women, wives & mommy's some day! Talk about a daunting but treasured calling! I need God's grace & help everyday!!!! I have been going on special "dates" with my girls since they were very little but as they have gotten older, our times together have taken on a new dimension. On my date with Amy last week, I got to talk to her about our relationship & how I'm doing as a Mommy. It was wonderful to hear her sweet encouragement but also very humbling to hear how I can grow! I am learning that having older children is definitely different in a whole new way! My older girls need & crave more time to just sit & talk to Mommy & Daddy ~ they actually want real conversation!!!!!! When my baby or my Kindergartener fall down, get their feelings hurt or have a sinful attitude, a discipline, a simple "encouragement" & lots of cuddles makes everything better & absolutely does the trick! With my big girls, talking to them about what is going on in their heart & how they can grow & change AND pointing them back to the Cross & encouraging them to seek God on their own about it requires a lot more of Mommy's time, attention, patience & wisdom (????) ! I'm so grateful that God has blessed me with very affectionate & cuddly little girls because even my big girls still love to climb into Daddy & Mommy's laps & hopefully they always will! Many times after having one of these heart moments with my girls I come away with gratitude to God but I still know that there is so much more I can be doing SO much better! Then....I look up to the Cross! I HAVE to remember that God is at work in me too! He is good & faithful to help me be a godly, patient, loving & tender Mommy (& Wife too!)! I love my little girls & I am grateful to God that He has entrusted these little treasures to Randal & I even though I am so unworthy of such sweet gifts!